


Skeletons

by PrincipeHayden



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: Blackmail, Body Dysphoria, Body Image, Developing Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Secrets, Trans Male Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, tags to be edited or added, trans male!Andy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2018-12-05 17:42:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincipeHayden/pseuds/PrincipeHayden
Summary: When a secret is revealed causing a devastating break up; the skeletons Andy buried years ago are crawling from their graves and plan to drag him back down with them. And this time he can't escape them, no matter how much he tries to hide them from the people around him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I am re-uploading this story. I changed the pairing to Jindy[Jinxx/Andy Biersack] instead of Jandy[Jake Pitts/Andy Biersack] along with changing how the stories plot flowed too. A lot these updates will either come from my Wattpad, meaning they will have those notes on them in bold text. If they don't, I'll put notes on them here. Also, We Don't Have To Dance[Andley] is on hold and will be re-uploaded and edited. I thank everyone who read, left kudos, and bookmarked it; yet it will be slowly taken down to be re-uploaded. Anyway, thank you all again and enjoy the new version of Skeletons!
> 
> Also, this is still a W.I.P with a lot of scenes, and it'll be edited as time goes on. Thanks again.
> 
> Edit: I forgot to add when I posted this last night, that this story is a little personal. I just wanted to add that here.

For the past two weeks Andy had tonight all planned out for him and his Dragonfly, Juliet. Even though it was their scheduled movie-dinner night, Andy had decided to take their four-year relationship forward. In truth, they never truly done anything intimate and he wanted to break past that barrier and wall he built up for himself; and tonight was the night, he felt it at the bottom of his stomach.

Rearranging his coffee table with two wine glasses, and two normal drinking glasses on it for the fifteen time and finally content with it, the twenty-three-year old made his way into the small apartment kitchen to check on the food he made an hour earlier that was warming up. Taking a bit out of the food and cringing when it burned the roof of his mouth, he turned off the stove and smiled with joy. Tonight was already going wonderful and his Dragonfly was not here yet. Running a hand through longish black strands of hair Andy sighed and saw that he only had twenty minutes left until Juliet got here. What could he do in the next twenty minutes beside standing around his apartment like a dumbass? Walking out of the kitchen he went to his bathroom and began to make himself presentable. When he turned on the light he noticed a small fur ball sitting in the bath tub. He smiled showing his teeth as he walked towards the white tub and bent over to pick up the black ball of fur who meowed at him.

Hugging the cat Andy nuzzled his nose into the black fur. "Why are you hiding out in the tub Crow? Did you find a spider in there or where you were just sleeping?" He questioned in a cutesy tone that caused the cat, Crow to wiggling around in his arms and scratch at his skin. "I'm guessing that means you want me to let you go now. Fine, leave daddy all alone." Andy pouted and let the black kitten onto the cool tile floor of the bathroom only to see him scurry out into the hallway possible to who knows where in the apartment. After all the times Andy had woken to Crow on his face and body, Crow biting his fingers at random times, Crow never leaving him alone when he's trying to do productive work-this was time Crow did not want be around him, and for Andy that meant one thing: Crow had cat things to do. Whatever those cat things might be.

Shaking his head with a snicker the singer looked into the mirror at his reflection and said to himself, "That little furball just can't seem to decide on what to do. Then again, he is still a kitten despite being so big now." He tilted his head to side with a large breath and realized he would not have that many minutes to get ready. "Fuck, time for a speedy, concert style refresher." He chuckled saying that remembering all the times when they had to get ready on a short notice due to running late or because of scheduling. He distantly remembers the time when Jake and Ashley accidentally were late due to an interview, thankfully they had done their war paint and hair before then. _What a time that was,_ he thought to himself as he did his hair for the hundredth time tonight and applied face moisturizer and a light scent filled body spray that didn't bother him to much and left him smelling nice, masking the scent of cigarettes and whatever other scent lingered on him. Letting out a puff of air he smiled at himself in the mirror. He looked good. He didn't looked like his tired self after one of his depression episodes that rendered him from doing anything, nor did he look like a horrible mess after waking up, nor did he look dead..He looked alive. Smiling once last time in the mirror he made his way out of the bathroom closing the door slightly behind him and made his way to the kitchen to finally take out the food from the oven. Carefully taking out the food, he placed it on the stove top and began to get the plates down. Setting them down, he then went to get the utensils out when he heard a knock on the door and his phone going off with a text. Feeling a large smile beginning to form on his face, he placed the utensils down on the counter and took his phone while beginning to make his way to the front door. His heart was beating against his chest and Andy feel his face heating up every step he took closer to the door. Pure joy was pooling inside him and his heart continued to swell at the sight of seeing his Dragonfly, his love, his Juliet. And the only object in front him that was stopping was the door. Running his palms down his jeans to get any sweet off he opened the door with a large smile seeing Juliet standing there with her long blond hair pulled up into a half pony tail and a similar large smile on her face. He continued to stare at her taking in her perfect and beautiful appearance and breathlessly breath out, "Hi."

Juliet smiled and greeted Andy with hug and kiss, which he gladly returned. They kissed for a few minutes before she rested her head on his shoulder and spoke to him against his shirt, "I'm so glad to see you Andy. I've missed you."

"It's been two weeks since we last saw each other, and not even a few hours since we last texted each other." He said back to her as they stood in the door way hugging.

"I know," she replied back taking in his scent of tobacco and lavender he always smelled of. "though it always seems like years." She giggled at the end looking up to her tall boyfriend. He looked down at with gleaming sea blue iris and kissed the top of her head.

"Well I guess those years are finally over because you are over here right now." He kept staring at her until he realized they were standing in the door way. He coughed awkwardly before saying, "We should probably get inside. Who knows how many bugs gotten in, though Crow will have a party catching them."

Juliet laughed at that image while agreeing, letting go of Andy and walking into his apartment as he closed the door behind them. She gasped when she felt his arms incircle her, and when he kissed her cheek. She smiled and giggled as he let go of her and they began to make their way towards the couch, in which when they sat down, they both were so close to each other to the point there was not even an inch between them. Intertwining their fingers together and locking them together allowing their matching tattoos of "Dragonfly" and "White Rabbit" to be reflected to the other. The couple smiled back at each other as staring into each other eyes. They could do this for hours or years if time did not exist.

Fifteen minutes of sitting together on the couch and talking to each other about their week, Andy had gone off to the kitchen to prepare to plates of the food he did not burn this time around. In the living room, he could hear the blonde female turning on the TV and DVD player for them to watch the movies he picked out and stared at the DVD cases picked out. She scanned his entire movie collection, smiling happily at his collection of Batman. It had grown over the years, nearly taking over his entire movie collection. Juliet was always surprised he still had room to buy any more movies. "So, you picked any good movies to watch tonight?" She asked, hearing him from the kitchen.

Andy hummed as he brought two plates of food into the living room and set them onto the coffee table then went over and put in one of the two movies he picked out for tonight. "I picked out The Deathly Hallows Part II since we watched the first part two weeks ago, and The Devil Wears Prada. I've heard it was a pretty good movie, but we're going to watch Harry Potter first."

The blonde female giggled at his cheerful voice and eyed the food taking it's none brunt appearance. He finally didn't burn it. "I see you paid attention this time to the food."

He sat down on the couch next to her with a fake hurt expression. "Okay, that was one time. One time! I burn the food one time and it sticks with me for life." He grumbled and poured himself a glass of wine slightly going over the limit he saw most people drink. "Also, this is for me to not cry during Harry Potter. Because as much as I don't love the series, I will cry."

Juliet tried not to laugh while beginning to eat. She never except her boyfriend to be such an emotional person while watching Harry Potter. Deciding to tease him slightly before they started the movie she spoke up swallowing her piece of food, "Awe, is my little White Rabbit upset about the series ending and a closet Harry Potter fan?"

Andy stared at her with a small glare and pout as he brought the glass to his lips and spoke, "No, I just get upset when all my favorite characters die and the movie ends with Harry, Hermione and Ron staring off into the distant as the train leaves the platform." As he ended his sentence he saw his girlfriend out of the corner of his eye giggling to herself while trying not to choke on the food. He rolled his sea blue eyes and took a small sip before pressing play on the movie and taking his plate of food to eat while the movie begins. However, through eating and watching the movie he couldn't help to stare at his beautiful girlfriend out of the corner of his eye. _How did I ever end up so lucky to have you?_ He thought with a faint blush as he scooted closer to her as they ate and watched the movie trying not to talk through it out.

After watching both movies-which was nearly four hours added together-and entire bottle of wine, the two adults were more drunk off of love than the wine. With the movie and the remains of their food left completely ignored, the two were practically dry humping each other against the couch. Hands where rubbing up and down skin, lips touching against each other; and the europium Andy was receiving from this was starting to send him over the edge. Each time Juliet's fingers traced over his skin, ran through his hair, he felt static run through him, urging him to move further, rip off clothes and go at it right there on couch; but he knew that making this move on the couch did not seem to pleasant. Cupping his arms around Juliet's lower back and feeling her legs hook around his, he stood up causing a shriek to emit from her and making him kiss her deeply once again.

Gazing contently into her eyes, Andy breathlessly spoke, "I love you so much Dragonfly."

With Andy's toned arms holding her tightly against him she was able to move her hands to cup his face and stare into loving sea blue eyes. "I love you more White Rabbit."

It had been those words that made pink lips adorned with a lip ring capture the others as Andy guided them back towards his bedroom, maneuvering carefully through the small hallway into the dark room, making them both fall forward-or backwards in Juliet's case-onto a fluffy black comforter. Juliet giggled at the action while the taller and toned male hovered above her nipping at delict skin and moving a hand underneath her shirt. She flushed bright pink and let out a small gasp at the movement of her lover's hands as they graced her skin causing shivers to run through her. Bending upward she captured the pink lips for the millionth time of the night this time tugging on the small ring causing a deep moan to come from the male's throat as she felt her bra and shirt being lifted off her, causing her to laugh and let Andy follow suit with his actions. With the bright flush on her face turning Juliet ten times redder due to that action, she took her turn in pleasing her boyfriend. She knew that by now she was the only one who was half dressed, and she would not let the handsome male have all the fun tonight.

As the two adults groped and nipped at each other's skin, Juliet began to tug off the male's shirt, pulling it over his tattooed arms and dropping it to the floor as she let her hands and acrylic nails trace his chest along with the tattooed words and dragonfly within a heart above his breast. She adored his tattoos he had acquired for her, it made her feel special for him to get his skin marked with his love and dedication towards her. Even though she only had White Rabbit on her hand and his name on her arm, she planned for one day to gain more for him. For her Andy.

Letting her hands trace up down his chest Andy continued to nip and kiss at her skin, leaving small love marks here and there. His hands guided themselves down her chest, lighting touching the side of her breast earning small gasps each time they grazed the skin. He smirked into her skin as he continued, at times teasing her nipple with his fingers before moving the hand down lower to her jeans, slowly unbutton them and shoving them down her hips. With performing this action Juliet moved herself up and helped getting them off only to fall backwards on the bed towards the headboard while Andy hovered above her smirking with a shy laugh escaping him.

"You're so beautiful Juliet, so, so, beautiful." He said out to her as he bent down in between her legs planting kisses on her stomach, trailing down to her thighs causing her to let out a small shriek at the feeling then a soft moan when the silver lip ring caused a patch of goose bumps to raise up on the skin. "God you're so beautiful." He spoke again this time against her inner thigh causing her to softly moan out. Soon Andy brought his head up from her thigh, sat up and began to tug off the pair of green panties she had on and flung them off the bed, hearing them land near the wall opposite of the bed. Feeling happy with that action, he moved on top of her again, feeling her body underneath him, her arms tracing up and his body while his did the same turning him on and slowly increasing the wetness he was feeling between his legs. If he thought he had been turned on earlier, he was now incredibly turned on to the point he could feel it. Though one nagging thought kept popping up in his mind, causing him to be distracted at small moments. However, the thought that kept popping up brought a cautious point; _Does Juliet even notice a difference down there? Does she not-_

His nagging thought had been caught off guard as he suddenly gasped at the position change with Juliet now on top of him. He had been so lost in thought that he had not notice the blond female take control and easily turn them over, making her the person on top now. Even in the dark of the room he could pinpoint a sly smirk on her face as his black fringe hung in his face. It brought a swell of adoration to his chest. Juliet loved him and wanted to treat him the same way he did to her, or at least that's he hoped. Since this was honestly their first time and his first time in a few years, he did not know what to expect. Though Andy knew one thing by letting his sea blue iris stare up to her with possible a dumbfounded expression—he loved her and he honestly hoped for her to love him back.

On top of her boyfriend, Juliet smiled and rested her hands on his chest while sitting on his thighs. She took in notice of his chest rising and falling in the dark of the room, feeling the heat radiant off his pale flesh knowing he was getting worked up from their actions. After all, this was their first time together as a couple and seeing how this had an effect on Andy made her However, as she wanted to go full on at it as he did, there was some a few pieces of clothing he still had that was blocking that action: his pants. Scooting down his legs to then rest in between them she felt him shudder underneath at the movement causing her to smile. "There's something blocking us from continuing." she slyly spoke two of her fingers hooked onto belt loops of the black denim skinny jeans. "And frankly I'm not alright with this."

"Then maybe you should," Andy began to speak huskily feeling turned on and wetter by each word. "take them off me." With those words escaping his mouth, he instantly felt his pants beginning to be tugged off. Since he was wearing no belt with them-even though they were tight enough to not need a belt-she seemed to have a tough time getting them past his lower thighs causing Juliet to huff at how tight they were.

"Your pants are so fucking tight. How do you get in them?" She questioned tugging them off best as she could.

Below her Andy laughed deeply with smirk. "The same way you're getting them off me." He earned a light, playful slap in the chest causing him to laugh. "Here let me help you."

"No, you undressed me so I have to undress you." Juliet told Andy earning a sigh as she finally tugged off the skin-tight jeans and tossed them across the room. Now with the tight piece of fabric away, Juliet moved in between skinny long legs with a large smile ready to now fully undress Andy. They were almost completely nude, skin to skin, except for the last and small piece of fabric that separated the two. Watching with a lust filled eyes and letting a small moan escape his mouth, Juliet let her hand dip under the waist band of his boxers, toying with the elastic waist band pushing it down lower to the point she was able to take them off his legs throwing them somewhere near the bed with the other pieces of degraded clothing. The dark bed room was a mess of clothing by now, and the couple had no care in the world for it. Trailing her fingers up the cold, sensitive skin of her White Rabbit's leg, she came back up towards his hips and v-line brushing against some sort of fabric once again. _Didn't I already pull off his boxers?_ Juliet thought causing her to linger her fingers near the fabric.

"Babe," she spoke up noticing the raven haired male singer to prop himself slightly. "why do you have another pair of underwear on when I already pulled off your boxers?" The world nearly stopped for Andy as that question reached his ears. Earlier he had been fully prepared to confess his secret to her though now he did not know if he could. _Say something Andrew. Don't just lay here like a dumbass! Speak up. You're going to miss your chance._

Just as he was about to speak up, he felt the pair of underwear being tugged off and nearly ripped with the small amount of force Juliet gave them. Out of his eyes half hidden by the fringe of black hair he saw the shadow of the small piece of fabric half flung across the room, still wondering if Juliet took notice into what the fabric really was; a similar pair of the pastel blue lacy waist banded panties Juliet wore one time in front of him. However, his thoughts where cut off when the feeling of acrylic nails ran down the pale flesh of his lower stomach and v-line causing shivers to run through his body and stiff back a moan. Juliet smiled at this and inched her hand closer to his groin, feeling him underneath her buck up at the touch and release moans from the touch. She did not know he had this effect on him. Now with her hand hovering right above him she let her hand slowly lower onto Andy's groin her fingers brushed up against a raised bundled of nerves and folds of skin which caused a deep throaty moan to escape Andy and leaving Juliet confused. She hesitantly rubbed the area and trailed her fingers downward only to notice how familiar it felt though she brushed it off and continued her movements with her fingers.

With the hesitant motions Juliet's finger was making against his clit and Andy arched his back to get closer to the touch. It had been so long since someone else had touched him in this way that he could already feel a pre-climax approaching. His fingers gripped the sheets as the motion against him was becoming too much to handle; however, this was short lived when he felt the fingers leave and the weight of Juliet moving against his thighs causing him to let out a heavy breath he hadn't realize he was holding. He breathed out and looked at Juliet through his hair hanging in front of his face wondering what was going through her head and her sudden movement on top of his thighs. A thousand thoughts where racing around his head and they were not good.

"Andy," Juliet stated breaking the silence that filled the room, "you have a..you have a pussy..and a clit." Swallowing Andy continued to stare at Juliet through his hair in the dark room. "Yeah I..I know."

"What do you mean you know?" Juliet questioned in a serious tone causing the male to sit up on his elbows. Even though they were still in the dark, the outlines of their bodies could be seen, even the fearful expression on the blue-eyed males could be noticed. "What do you honestly mean you know?"

"Because..because I was born with one?" Andy stated in a question with his voice shaking. He was prepared before to tell her, yet now..yet now he did not know if he could. There many of times where he faced this problem, mainly in high school from sophomore year on, yet never with someone he loved again with all his heart.

"Because you were born with one? What are the fuck is going on here Andy?" Her voice was raised in both irritation and confusion. Up this point, she had no idea what was going on or happening beside the fact that they were having sex and when she touched his groin it was exactly what she thought it was. "Can you please explain to me why you have one?"

"Because I was born that way, alright? I was born a-" He cut himself off before he let the tip of the word escape his mouth. He hadn't said that word in so long about himself that if he were to say it right here and now in front of her, Andy might as well let the world take him now.

"Born a what?"

Squeezing his eyes shut tightly he forced out the word in a stutter. "I was born a male in a fem..female body." Juliet allowed her body to slid off his thighs and onto the side of the bed next to him as she watched him hug his middle and stare anywhere except for her. She couldn't believe it, her boyfriend, the love of her for four years, was born a female.

Exhaling a deep breath, she stood up from the bed fully taking in account of the sudden motion Andy made when she did. He gazed straight at her with a ton of emotions racing through his face. "Whe-Where are you going?" His voice wavered as he asked her noting how in a mechanical motion made her way over towards the door. Why is she going towards the door? Is she leaving? "Please don't le-" Instead of going out the door as he thought the bed room light had turned on causing him to flinch under its gleam and Juliet to stare back at him with a shocked look. She opened and closed her mouth, lost for words on how to respond. Even if she could find the words, did she even know how to respond correctly to it?

"You're a woman." Those words left her mouth as Andy shrunk backwards into the bed looking away. "You're a fucking woman and you have a clit and a pussy. Oh my God." She continued rubbing her temple and wondering how to absorb what was happening. She couldn't believe, in fact she didn't want to believe it. Swallowing a lump in his throat and biting back the urge of tears threatening to shed, Andy spoke up softly still looking away, "I am not a wo-woman, even if I still have those parts down there."

Juliet straightened herself up and blinked rapidly. "You've literally been a female all this time and nothing in the last four years of us-" Her eyes snapped wide and her jaw became tight. Four years of them dating, of the kissing and light touching, of how Andy would shy away or tense everytime she touched him low around his pelvis; all of it made sense. All of it made sense. Closing her eyes, a slight laugh laced with anger released from her causing Andy to back against the headboard of his bed afraid of why his girlfriend was acting so strange. Then again, he imagined multiple scenarios of what could happen, yet this a mixture of them; and it was almost a nightmare.

Opening her eyes Juliet stared directly at Andy who sat on the bed with fear across his face. Loosening her jaw, she spoke with venom lacing each and every word. "You had four years to tell me. Four fucking years Andrew, yet you couldn't tell me before tonight? Before we were going to have sex?"

Andy opened his mouth with only a gasp escaping as he tried to bit back tears. "Lis-listen Ju, I wan-wanted to. Every time I-I wanted to, yet I wa-was too afraid too."

"You were afraid too? You were afraid to tell me, your girlfriend, for the past four years that the only way to tell me was to make this night special?" She questioned voice raising louder and walking back towards the bed where Andy sat now hugging his legs.

"Jules, you don-don't understand ho-"

"You still could have fucking told me Andrew." She seethed throwing her arms up in the air and releasing a long deep breath.

Sitting right up against the headboard hugging his knees Andy felt small beads of tears running from his tear ducts. He knew that her reaction was out of anger, though at least it wasn't like ones in the past he had encountered. She hadn't lashed out or acted harshly beside the anger raging through her voice. Although, he knew she felt hurt and betrayed by him, possibly feeling as if he lied about loving her all these years. "I was afraid, an-and terrified. I had no idea how you would hav-have reacted in any other situation."

Pinching the bridge of her nose Juliet eyed him. "My reaction could have gone differently and probably smoother if it wasn't tonight. If we were in any other setting, any other fucking place than in your bedroom in the midst of having sex, then I would have reacted differently." She huffed out again and paced around the bed feeling Andy's watery eyes trial her movements. She began to locate her clothes realizing they were all scattered around. As she continued to scan the floor, her eyes caught on what appeared to be the second of underwear she pulled of him. Eyes narrowing, she stared down at the pastel blue panties, and seethed with venom, "I'm the only person in your so-called circle of friends that doesn't know about this?" "That I was born in the wrong body, or that I don't have a dick? No. My friends don't know, and I personally believe if they have speculated anything they wouldn't want to invade my privacy." Andy said with his chest heaving from how worked up he was becoming. He was so close to breaking now, and he did not want to cry in front of her. He did not want to show her his weak side.

"So," Juliet said kicking away the panties and bending over to gather up her clothes nearest to her spot. "the rest of the guys don't know at all? They don't realize that for the past four or maybe five plus years that their best friend, lead singer of the band, and their brother has been lying in their faces and every interview you've all done? They don't know that is probably all an act?"

Andy snapped his head towards her and stared in her direction with widen eyes. Even after all she had already said to him, those words struck a chord inside him. He wanted to scream, to cry, to even punch a wall without hesitation, though he knew he'd never had the strength to do anything except cry. "This isn't an act Juliet. And I'd never lied to them. They all know I'm guy, all the fans know I'm guy and as much as it hurts me when other people think I'm girl, or Ash's a girl, or any of us-I'd never lied to them."

Buttoning up her jeans Juliet begin to hook up her bra with an eye roll. The anger was now dying down inside her, though she still felt it in the top of her chest. "All this time you've been lying to all your friends, taking voice lessons to deepen your voice, suddenly over hauling your entire hair style, not fully being able to grow facial hair, and more importantly always covering-"

"I'm a male Juliet!" Andy yelled out breathing hard and uncurling from his position. He crawled off the bed and stood up in front of her with tears noticeably running down his face. He stood there with his hands clenched at his side and staring hardly at Juliet who just glanced at him with slight horror and disgust causing Andy to bit his lip and hold back a sob. "I was born into the wrong body and I've done everything I can to make myself feel comfortable. My voice has always been low and it got there gradually over time even before I started hormone replacement. I've known since I was little, yet never fully started anything transition wise until freshmen year of high school."

Juliet's jaw unconsciously moved and she hesitantly spoke out, "You've known since you were little?" Deep inside her, the anger she had been feeling earlier had died down to the pit of her stomach. She licked her lip and realized what she was feeling now; irritation and some form of pity for Andy. She was irritated for various reasons, yet felt pity because she never realized what type of pain he must have been going through. She never even thought about any of that since he ever admitted to having ADD, depression, and social anxiety when they got together. Andy now rubbed his arms and continued to speak as if he never heard Juliet talk.

"I've known throughout my entire life and I thou-thought that tonight you wouldn't care even if we were slightly drunk. I mean as I remembered, you never cared the first time I went down on you and then you accidentally fingered me last year or tonight when you pulled off my panties." When he said those words, they instantly brought back the event from last year, Juliet swore she could have seen white. She remembered that night last year, how she visited Andy on tour and they both got wasted in the hotel room, how Andy took the opportunity to please her and how she returned the favor.

Cleaning her jaw Juliet breathed in deeply. "For Christ's sake Andy, we were wasted, black out drunk that time last year! Tonight was not the same as what happened last year!"

"We were both slightly drunk earlier and we both know it! When you started going it at, you were hesitant, yet you didn't seem to ca-"

"We were both still sober tonight to notice what the fuck was going on, especially me. What happened last year was-" She paused. "Look, tonight almost happened and as much as I love you Andy, I can't. I just can't know or even the thought of us going further with this I don't see-I have to go." She finished sucking into her lip and feeling a sting in her eyes. There was no she could deal with this tonight, or even deal with this at all for the moment. All Juliet knew was that she had to leave, go home and try to clear her mind or at least make sense of the situation. Andy's breath hitched and he stared at her with heart broken ocean irises with tears breaking at the seams. He stood there, not moving as he watched her begin to make the way out of the bedroom and into the hallway, walking further away from him. Taking a large breath Andy quickly grabbed his shirt off the floor and headed out of his bedroom to try and chase Juliet down before she left. Practically stumbling down the hallway due teary vision, Andy weakly called out to her, "Jul..Juliet please don't go! Please don't go." He came into the living room to see her pulling on her shoes and wiping away stray tears that were visible on her face. He slowly walked forward holding out a shaky hand and said a cracking voice, "Please don't go Juliet. Please."

Juliet finished tying her shoe and glanced up at him while shaking her head. "I can't Andy. I'm sorry, but I can't stay." She covered her mouth and stood up, taking her car keys and purse in her hands and opening the door. A small sob escaped her mouth as she made her throughout the door with a small glance back at Andy. Right before the door shut behind her, Juliet turned to Andy and mouthed a small 'I'm sorry' just before she shut the door and Andy collapsing to the floor grabbing onto the nearest object he could to keep himself up.

Andy sat on the floor of his apartment sobbing his heart for twenty minutes. His shirt was stained with tears and snot, and face stung from the amount that flowed down his face. He couldn't believe it. The girl he fell in love with and wanted to spend his future with someday left. Although he excepted some questions and anger, he didn't except her to just leave and try to cover up her rejection. He had been rejected, and no matter how much of himself said it wasn't his fault he still felt that it was. After all, he had kept it from her, afraid that she'd act out like this or worse...and now he was alone crying, just like he imagined multiple times. Gripping onto his shirt, Andy sobbed out and tried to regain his breathing. He felt an upcoming panic attack rising and at the moment he didn't believe he would be able to handle it with the other emotions raging through him. Taking deep and slow breaths, he felt the bubbles of the panic attack subsiding and his sobs dying down into hiccups. Now he did not have to deal with the panic attack, but every other emotion going through him.

Using his shirt again as a tissue, he slowly stood up from the position on the floor and made his way to find his phone on the coffee table and fell on his knees while grabbing it. With trembling hands, he unlocked the phone and scrolling through his contacts with blurry vision coming upon a number he knew that this time of night would answer and help him right away; Jinxx. Although he could always count on the others to be there for him, Jinxx was always the first one to usually response to texts or calls when he got them. At times he forgot, yet he always answered. Clicking the phone icon to call, Andy stood up and walked slowly back to his room, heart beating with each ring the phone gave back to him. His legs mechanically moved him into his room to which he slid down the nearest wall and tried to calm himself with each ring praying that Jinxx would pick up. As the ringing continue, he felt another flow of tears coming. He needed the guitarist to answer, otherwise he has no idea what he would do or what his mind would have do. When the ringing stopped, Andy's breath hitched, wondering if it was going to voicemail. As he began breathing rapidly, a faint breath came from the other end of the line and a smile of hope broke out on his tear stained face as Jinxx's voice reached his ears, "Hey Andy what's u-"

"Jinxx! Oh thank goodness you answered." He cut him off in one breath as if it could have been his last. "Listen I..I need you to com-come over. Ple..Please I need someone." "Yeah, sure. Is everything going alright? I thought tonight was your movie night with-"

"Just please come over Jinxx. I don't know what I'll do if yo..you don't." Andy said as he held back a sob. In all honestly, he was telling Jinxx the truth. He did not know what he'd do if the other did not come over, and it frightened him. He wondered that if Jake did not come over or came over to late, who knows where he'd find him. And honestly, he did not want to have his bandmate and brother find him in a far worse position than he was now. Over the phone, he heard the static of movement and Jinxx grabbing something, almost like keys.

"Andy, I'll be over fast as possible, even if it means breaking all rules of the road. Can you stay on the phone with me as long as possible?" Andy nodded to the question even though Jinxx couldn't see him, and then slowly whispered, "Yes." Hoping the other male could he hear him.

The line was silent for a good five minutes beside the static of movement coming from Jinxx possibly getting into his car and setting the phone in a position to where he could keep an eye it and the road. Soon enough, he heard the car being turned on and that was just enough for Andy to know his best friend and brother was on the way.

When Jinxx arrived at the singer's apartment, it was dead silent. Knocking on the door noticing how the door was unlocked, he cautiously entered inside wondering what he would find. Stepping in and shutting the door, Jinxx began to search around and noticed how clean the apartment was, yet took in the sight of the living room area. On the coffee table that Andy used a lot, was two plates and four glasses, presumably left untouched. The TV was still on with the menu screen up for the movie Devil Wears Prada, still going on with its volume low. Not noticing anything strange, he walked out of the area and halted at the start of the small dark hallway that lead to the bedroom, the small office Andy created, and the bathroom. Even though he had been over here a few times with the others, he still wasn't too comfortable being back towards Andy's room since he respected the male's privacy. Sucking in a deep breath Jinxx began to make his down the hallway letting his hand trace the wall and searching out for any sound, and as he got closer to the end where the bedroom was he could hear faint sounds. The faint sounds of sobbing or hiccuping.

Finally, in front of the opened door, he slowly walked in and jumped slightly when he saw Andy sitting against the wall with knees up to chest and hiccuping with each breath. Instantly his blue irises widened then soften, and a frown appeared on his face. _What the fuck could have happened that got him like this?_ He thought as he made his way over and kneeled in front of the younger male. Reaching out a hand, Jinxx's fingers graced the porcelain skin causing Andy to shrink back into the wall and let out a large breath. Retreating his hand back Jinxx spoke up, "Hey it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you Andy. I just need to make sure you're okay." Though I know you're not. He added that last comment in his mind knowing for a fact that the younger was anything far from okay. For as long as he knew the young singer, Jinxx had rarely ever seen him cry, even in his lowest moments.

Seeing sea-blue irises peek up towards him a faint smile appeared on Jinxx's face from getting an reaction from Andy. With his hand still stretched out he carefully placed it on the cold skin in a friendly gesture. "Do you think you can move so I can possible change your shirt. I don't think wearing a tear and snot infused shirt is a good idea." Andy shook his head and hide his eyes on again causing Jinxx to cast his gaze down at the floor. "Please Andy?" His only reply was another head shake causing a sigh to release from the older male's mouth and stare up at Andy. "Would it be better if I picked out a shirt for you then you change yourself?"

Andy shook his head again and finally spoke up, "N..Yes."

Content with the answer the older male stood up and walked to the closet were he assumed his shirts were kept. Picking out a random band shirt he came back over and held it out to the boy who hesitantly grabbed it only to place it next to him on the floor and slip off the other shirt he had on and put on the clean on. Proud of the small progress he got from the boy Jinxx kneeled again in front of him unsure on what to do next.

Thinking of what to say, he opened his mouth and spoke hesitantly, "Is there anything else I can get you, like a glass of water or-" Andy shook his head and instead reached out his arms in a manner a child would. Confused at the gesture Jake continued to kneel until he saw a blur of black leap into him and grip onto his shirt causing him to land flat onto his butt with Andy on top of him holding onto to him for dear life. His shirt began to be pulled from the tight grip Andy was given him. Surprised at these actions, Jinxx allowed the boy to lay against him. He sat on the floor with his legs to the side under them, and put his arms around him to hold him hoping that it brought him comfort. Feeling how tense he was, Jinxx felt a part of his heart break. _How and who the fuck messed him up so bad?_ He thought to himself as they both sat there on the floor with Andy burying his face into his shoulder, as if trying to hide from the world. And Jinxx couldn't do anything else besides let the boy sit there, burying his head into his shoulder trying to hide from the world. In some way, the older male felt as if he couldn't do anything, as if even if tried to comfort him it might not work.

As they sat there, Jinxx wondered whether it would be safe for Andy to stay here alone in his house for the night. It's not as if he didn't trust him, but it was more so along the lines of not knowing what he could do. For all he knew, Andy could end up drunk as hell or hurt himself, or even worse somehow end up in the hospital, and that was something none of them wanted. He could stay over, though he did not know if that would be to sudden or an invasive of privacy on a level; although, he knew one idea would work: having Andy stay over at his house. In truth though, he didn't know if Andy would agree since the younger tries to act older than he was though deep down in the pit of his stomach he knew that the younger would not want to stay here in the state he was in and the fact that something obviously went down tonight in here that would only bring more pain than there already was. And so, he dropped the question not knowing if Andy would agree or not.

"Would it better if you stayed over at my place for the night or more?" Jinxx asked feeling Andy nod into his shoulder and grip loosen on his shirt. Inside, he relaxed knowing that he agreed, though still felt unsure on how Andy's emotions where. As long as he could make sure Andy could be safe for the night, that's all that matter. He continued to hold on him afraid what might happen if he let go without saying.

"Alright. Can you sit on the bed while I gather up some of your clothes and items to stay?" Once again Andy nodded which allowed Jinxx to slowly stand up with the boy still gripping onto him. Making his way over to the bed with Andy tripping over his feet, the two sat down gently before Jinxx stood back up and headed over to the closet where he saw what to be the travel bag that the singer took with them on tour. Picking it off the floor he stood up and pushed a section of his hair back behind his ear and eyed the shirts hanging up in the closet space. Blowing out slew of air, he wondered just how much to pack and more importantly what to do pack. Rummaging through the shirts, he grabbed various ones, including hoodies and the iconic leather jacket Andy wore. Next, he headed over to the dresser drawers and picked out skin tight jeans and sweat pants in case the other didn't want to wear tight clothing. Realizing that he could not carry anymore items, walked over to the edge of the bed and set them down, leaving out a pair of sweat pants for Andy to put on. Folding up the selection of clothes he walked back over and picked out socks and underwear and coming back to place those inside the travel bag.

Satisfied having the clothes packed, the guitarist took a glance at the singer and noticed how he stared off and at the wall in front of him as if nothing around him was happening. Frowning at the sight he cleared his throat and saw dull irises take a side-ways glance at him. At least he's still responding. "I'm going to go into the bathroom and get anything you may need from there, along with your wallet. Anything else I need to pack?"

"Cigarettes, my lighter, and the black make-up bag from the kitchen." Came a quiet reply causing Jinxx to nod. He figured that having the cigarettes was better than alcohol. Even though Andy drank himself practically into a coma half of the time, sometimes smoking worked better when it came to helping him.

Heading out of the bedroom, Jinxx went and got those items along with cleaning up the dirty dishes in the living room. Coming back into the bedroom he was taken back when he saw Andy sitting on the bed wearing the clean shirt and a pair of underwear on. Although not excepting the distraught male to even get up Jinxx was just glad he at least moved. Finishing packing the bag and with Andy finally now fully dressed, Jinxx stood near him once again unsure how to go about getting the singer into his car. He figured that he probably wouldn't want to walk far, let alone walk to a car. However, that left one thing to do, and to which Jake had no idea it was crossing a line that Andy maybe didn't want; he would have to carry him. Arching his eyebrows and making an uneasy expression, he asked the singer if it would be okay. "Andy, I know that you probably don't want to walk to my car and I figured that carrying you would be easier for you, so would that be okay?"

Knowing how uneasy and unsure Jinxx was and how he worded that question, Andy nodded mechanically though truthfully. Although as much as he hated being treated like a child at times he rather be carried to the car than walk because he did not know if he could trust himself. Though he was able to get fresh clothes on, there was no way he would be able to make it to the car without having his knees give out on him. That was the last thing he wanted, for Jinxx to see him collapse. With his questioned answered the guitarist moved and picked up Andy bridal style only to feel his long skinny arms snake around to his neck and his head hiding in his chest. Faintly smiling at the action Jinxx began to carefully walk out of the bedroom and through the apartment, careful to not to hit the long legs off a wall or corner. Coming up to the front door, Jinxx managed to open the door and close it behind him when he got outside. As he walked to where his car was parked he felt Andy starting to relax in his hold indicating that the boy had worn himself out over the past hour or two. As Jinxx walked up to the car he realized that unlike the door, he wouldn't be able to take out his keys and use the key fob to unlock his car while holding Andy. And as much as he assumed that the other did not want to be standing, he realized that there was no other option, and even with holding a tired Andy, he had no clue if he would agree to standing for a small amount of time.

"Can you stand for a minute or two while I unlock the car?"

Andy hummed in responded and patiently waited while the car was unlocked. Hearing Jinxx unlock the car via the key fob and the door being opened. Tiredly eying over to the guitarist who know held onto his hand and helped him into the car, Andy hummed again as he was seated and buckled into the car by Jinxx who kept checking on him to make sure nothing else was wrong. Standing outside the passenger side with his hand resting on the door, Jinxx realized that he still had to grab the bag and make sure everything was off and locked in the apartment. Staring at a tired Andy, he said to him softly, "I'll be back in a few minutes with your bag and will have everything off and locked in your apartment. Sleep if you need to."

With that Jinxx closed the passenger door and glanced back at Andy who sat in the seat nodding off before heading back up to the apartment to get bag and make sure everything was off and locked. Andy watched in the car with his heavy, tired eyelids as Jinxx entered his apartment one last time. A faint smile graced his tear stained face as he felt his eyes close to enter him into a dreamless sleep that would reply tonight's events over and over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note before the this very long awaited chapter and before the note at the end; there is a part of this chapter that I tried to write, but it didn't fit, so I shortened it in a way that it fit in the best way possible. I also want to pre-apologize before my longer note at the end of this chapter for this chapter being a mess because it was rewritten, then rewritten again, and then had a ton of parts mashed together. So, I apologize so much, my ending note explains more, but please enjoy this messy, long awaited chapter.

Andy woke up the next the morning with a heavy and exhausted feeling going all over his body and in an unfamiliar bed. He groaned out and rolled over, making the blanket wrapped tighter around him for him to fall back asleep; however, when he rolled over he was greeted with a fuzzy object in his face and a beam of sunlight coming in from a window. Making a face of discomfort, he slowly cracked opened his eyes to see a fuzzy brown cat and sunlight directly shining in at them. Squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again, he brought his hands to rub the sleep from his face only to realize his eyes felt puffy. Frowning, he let out a huff and sat up, having the blanket fall around his lap and the fuzzy object next to him move and let out a sound that he knew all too well. It was a cat, but it wasn’t Crow. It was Jinxx’s cat, Mao. Smiling at the brown cat who sat next to him on the bed, he then glanced around the room and realizing by seeing the furniture, the photos and certain posters hanged up in frames, Mao, and the fact that he remembers staying in this years ago and coming over a few times here and there; he knew that was this Jinxx’s house. 

_This is Jinxx’s house..and room._ He thought to himself wondering for his reason of being Jinxx’s bed, let alone house. There were very sparse times when he stayed here, a lot of it was due to either having a guy’s night and all of them staying for the hell of it, or him being over to work on music only to realize it was too late for him to drive all the way home. So, for him to end up at his house wearing a shirt and a pair of sweats-an item of clothing he normally wear to bed-was making him question the reason to why he was here, and more importantly what caused him to end up here. He honestly didn’t know for sure, and honestly, he didn’t even know if he remembered last night at all. 

Sighing Andy moved his legs out from under the blanket hoping not to disturb Mao who seemed to now be laying peacefully on the blanket staring at him. Glancing over at the cat, Andy reached out his right hand for Mao to sniff it. When he felt the cat’s nose touch his hand, he smiled and then softly began to pet the brown cat's head. 

“You remember me now, don’t you Mao?” He said to the cat who seemed to crawling towards his lap. A low laugh escaped him as he watched Mao sit in his lap and nuzzle against him as he allowed him to continue to pet him. Usually whenever he came over here Sebastian ignored him, always giving him the cold shoulder which made Andy believe it was because he smelled like Crow or the fact that Mao just didn’t like him. However, that didn’t seem to be the case now.

Petting the cat who now had twisted around and was purring, Andy smiled down at him. “You do love me. I always thought you hated me because I smelled like my cat and I always told Jinxx that every time I saw him.” He said to the purring cat in his lap who seemed not to care. “Do you happen to know where Jinxx is?”

As soon as hearing Jinxx’s name, Mao perked up and suddenly moved from Andy’s lap and heading out of the bedroom, pushing the door open as he did. Staring in the direction of the door and making an expression of slight annoyance, Andy moved his legs to the side of bed though shivered when his feet touched the cool wooden flooring of the house. With Jinxx living in the valley, his house was built to handle the weather, meaning his floors were a mixture between tile and wood, except his studio which he believed had carpet in it for sound proofing reasons. Then again, he had only been in his home studio a few times throughout the years, even during the making of their recent album, so he didn’t remember it perfectly for sure. Pushing himself out of the bed Andy decided to make the bed before he began to make his way out of the room and headed down the hallway, looking at each door and even frames on the wall he passed. The frames held various things from photos that ranged from photos of Jinxx himself, family, friends, and even them as a band to even magazines they’ve been on. Andy knew that he had those magazines somewhere around the house. They all had multiple copies of anything they’ve been in. It all them made feel proud of far they’ve come with the band and music. Giving a soft smile at the thoughts he made his way out of the hallway and into the living and kitchen area. It was nice and cozy, kind of small, yet had a feel to it that made you want to stay. 

Yawning, Andy stretched a bit and scratched the back of his head and looked around. He could tell by some evidence in the kitchen that the guitarist was up, for how long though, he didn’t know. The sun was up, but he didn’t know the time. After all, he barely paid attention to see if their was a clock in Jinxx’s room, let alone to find his stuff. 

“Good afternoon, sleeping beauty.” Jinxx’s voice reached over to Andy who jumped slightly. He wasn’t expecting to hear him, nor for Jinxx to notice him. Hell, he didn’t even know at first if Jinxx was in the room. 

“Afternoon?” He replied in question as he walked into the living room yawning. “How long have I been asleep, it can’t be more than eleven.” 

Jinxx tried not to laugh while taking a sip of his coffee. “It’s about one thirty. You slept longer than I thought you would, but it seemed as if last night took a lot out of you.” 

He looked over at Andy who was now rubbing the sleep out of his face again and now had gotten in a comfortable position of sitting with his one leg underneath him and on propped up to his chest. His position reminded the guitarist of how models posed in photos; yet he has seen Andy sit in this position many times before. It seemed to be one his signature sitting position when comfortable. Especially on tour on the small couches they had on the bus.

Blinking Andy rubbed his hands on his sweat pants looking over at Jinxx with a confused face. He still didn’t remember what happened last night, hell he didn’t even remember yesterday. Though apparently whatever happened to bring him here, took a lot out of him. “What do you mean? What happened last night? How did..how did I end up here? It’s a bit blurry.” 

“You called me last night crying.” He replied setting down his cup of coffee on the table. “Freaking out practically. I really don’t know what happened beside what I saw in your apartment and from the state you were in.” 

Nodding at what Jinxx said, Andy thought on that. “What do you mean state I was in? What did my apartment look like? It wasn’t a mess, right?”

“No, it wasn’t. However, you room did have clothes strewn around and your coffee table had dishes on it from some dinner. I don’t know what happened beside that, but whatever did it happen it affected you pretty bad. You were very silent beside a few words here and there, and was sort of out of it. Almost like how you were on the AP tour.” 

Andy took in a breath. He remembered the AP tour and how much of a bad state he was in it. He remembered how he spent those nights wondering what he was doing and if he was going to make it through. If it wasn’t for Ashley and the band helping him through it, he didn’t know where he would be today. He never wanted to go back to that, it reminded him too much high school. A place he never wanted to go back to. 

Feeling a small shiver go down his back he put his one leg down and rested both hands in his lap. He wanted, no, needed to know desperately remember what happened last night. If he could know what caused it he could make some sense of it; but would it affect him as it had last night if he remembered? 

Sipping on his coffee Jinxx took notice in how the boy appeared confused, probably wondering about last night. It appeared he didn’t really remember anything about last night, after all whatever happened exhausted him completely and caused him to be distraught. Jinxx stills remembers seeing him in his bedroom when he first came in the apartment. Seeing the younger boy like that broke his heart. 

_I should probably ask him if he wants anything. He slept so long, and he has to be at least hungry or thirsty. Hopefully he is._ Resting his cup in the palm of his on hand and his other holding it he looked at Andy who now had settled in comfortably and still had a sleepy look to him with his hair disheveled 

“Hey,” He turned his attention towards Jinxx who was giving him a soft expression, “do you want anything to eat or drink? I probably don’t have a lot due us going on tour soon, but I do still have a ton of coffee and tea. Or you can have water.”

“Do you still have some pumpkin spice flavored coffee? I’d really like that.” Andy asked with a small smile. He knew Jinxx would have it though. For some reason, one of them always still had pumpkin spice flavored coffee left over, and mostly because Andy loved it so they had to at least keep it around. He waited every year for the flavor to come out, and when he was able to buy it in K-cups and in normal coffee grounds he bought a ton. 

A laugh escaped the long haired male, and gave a smile at Andy. He knew the boy would ask him if he had still had pumpkin spice flavored coffee. He drank it during the fall like it was a drug. “I still have some of it. Do you want coffee creamer, sugar, or whatever in it?” 

“Coffee creamer, please.” Andy said with a small smile. He usually drank his coffee with Baileys Irish Cream mixed with coffee creamer, and sometimes he just drank it plain black. Though usually that was when he was hungover, in rush during the mornings, and especially on tour when they had Walking back into the living room with Andy’s coffee and a fresh cup of his own coffee, Jinxx sat back down in his spot and got comfortable. He saw that Andy had turned on Netflix and was watching what looked like to be Park and Recreations. He didn’t really take him as one to watch the show; however, Jinxx had to admit it was a wonderful show and easily drew you into watch. 

The two sat there on the couch watching the show, Jinxx causally checking his phone every now and then. Andy sat there watching Park and Recs slowly sipping on his coffee. It was made just the way he liked it too. Then again, they all knew how to make each other's coffee. After being on tour and always having weird sleep schedules and having to get each other food at times, they knew how everyone liked their food and drinks; and Jinxx got the perfect amount of coffee creamer right for him. It was the perfect cup of coffee and definitely gave him what he need to wake up. 

Waking up more as he drank the coffee, he suddenly remembered a bit of last night. It was blurry, but he remembered. He could remember Jinxx coming in the apartment and helping him out and packing what he might need for him the next day. And with it being past one, he probably needed to check his phone for any notifications and even take his meds. He didn’t want to forget that gain. Even though he usually could remember, there days where he didn’t and it messed up his days for a while.

“Jinxx, where's my phone and bag? I mostly need the one bag that you got from the kitchen." 

Jinxx’s light blue eyes looked over at him and he nodded setting down his phone on the table and got up. “Yeah I can get those for you. I just realized I never told you were I put anything. Then again, you were fast asleep when we got here. I’ll be right back.”

It didn’t take that long for Jinxx to get his phone and one bag. When he came back, Andy put down his cup of coffee on the table and took his phone and bag from Jinxx who sat back down in his spot. Opening the bag he took out his pill bottles and opened each of them taking out the amount he needed before placing them all back inside in the bag. He set down on the floor and grabbed his coffee again to take them. Once that was done, he grabbed his phone and sat crossed legged on the couch holding the cup in one hand and his phone in the other only to click it open and be greeted with a ton of notifications mainly from his Twitter, Instagram, and other accounts he had. A few texts messages, one from his neighbor telling him she would need to know when they were leaving for tour so she could look after his apartment, a few from his parents, mainly his mom, a text from Jon telling them to check their emails for the rehearsal dates coming up and a rough draft of the tour schedule. Continuing to go through those notifications then checking his social media, he closed out the apps and stared at his phone screen for a few minutes. There had been a few things Andy had noticed, especially when checking his texts. His mom had sent text messages an hour after Jon had sent his text, though he noticed that there was no new text from Juliet and looking at the time stamp of her last text it was from six o’clock, a good thirty minutes before she came over, yesterday, 

Eyebrows knitting together, his thumb scrolling up to read the later text messages, blue eyes scanning each one to see what happened yesterday. As he continued scrolling a group of few messages caught his eye that were from Thursday. Stopping, he let his eyes read each text between them, his thumb slowly scrolling down the screen until he got back to the last message she sent him yesterday. 

Clicking the home button, he looked at the date on his phone and then went back to the texts and saw the date there. Feeling his breath get caught in his throat he automatically set the cup down on the table and brought his other leg up. He stared at down his phone and felt everything slowly coming back to him from what happened last night. 

He could remember cooking dinner last night, getting the best bottle of wine he could find, even picking out two movies for them to watch. How by the second movie they were half drunk and they were...they were..

“Fuck.” 

“What?” 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Oh my God...I..she..Fuck.” He said, putting his phone down and brought his hands up to his face and covered it. He couldn’t believe it. He thought she… 

“Andy?” 

“I remember..I remember, oh God Jinxx I remember what happened last night.” He cried out, feeling tears gather in his eyes and began to stream down his face. 

It took them about an hour, but Andy slowly told Jinxx everything. He told him how he had set up their usual Friday movie night and how he wanted to take their relationship to the next level since they never done anything beside a drunken night last year that they were both so drunk none of them fully remembered it happening until that moment. He also told Jinxx how he never told anyone he knew beside his family knowing, Ashley, and Scout. Thankfully, through his crying and pauses during the whole thing, Jinxx understood him and listened carefully. 

 

“Thank you Jinxx. You’re a great friend and brother.” He sniffled, wiping his face again. He knew his face was probably red and he knew he looked like a mess. He always did after crying. 

Jinxx smiled and hugged him. “You’re welcome Andy. I’m always here for you when you need it. After all we’re friends and brothers and in the same band, so we have to stick together. Plus, I would never leave you over this. You’ve always been you.”

Smiling at that, Andy cuddled further into Jinxx’s side. It was such a great relief to know that he had another person in his life who would be there for him and not treat him like someone people have in the past. Plus, he knew Jinxx wouldn’t tell anyone either. He wasn’t someone to talk about people’s personal life unless it was important due to certain situations or if the person gave him permission to. 

“Jinxx?” He mumbled. 

“Yes?”

“Can I stay here for another day or two?”

The guitarist chuckled at that. “You can stay here as you long as you need too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back and first off I want to apologize so so much for not updating this until now. I am still very unsure about this story because I feel like I'll possible get something and I'm trying my best to make sure everything can be correct and I'm even unsure how I want this story to go because I've changed a lot of tags and even some of the story plot itself. So, yes, this story will have a full over haul of what it was originally supposed to be and I know the this chapter and the first chapter may be a mess, but for right now, I'm keeping them the same since they are already written. I am going to update this story as much as I can between my other stories; and I hope this one goes well. Once again, I apologize for this chapter possibly a mess like this note. I do want to thank everyone who had still wanted this story updated it's actually helped me write small bits of this chapter every now and then so I really thank you guys for liking this story because I thought it wouldn't do good. So, once again for the second time I apologize for the long over due update and I thank you all who enjoy this mess of a story so far.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I have not updated on here in a while. I've been updating on Wattpad, yet for some reason that site is having problems right now (has been for about a week) and I've forgot to upload the recent chapters on here for both this story, a new story I wrote, and I think a new chapter of Let Him Burn. I will upload all of those after I upload this and chapter 4 of this story. This chapter kind of thrust into a lot of things that will make the story unfold. It's a lot of old ideas of this story and chapter that I've kept because it was how it was originally going to be and I don't want to offend anyone, because that's my fear with it. So, I hope you all enjoy this mess of a chapter and the next one. Thank you.

It was the day they headed out to start tour and honestly Andy was completely ready, but so exhausted. The past three weeks have been utter hell and not for the reason he wanted. Between the tour rehearsals that had gone well, doctors appointments to make sure he was fit to go and have everything he needed, packing for tour, and having to deal with the aftermath of what happened between him and Juliet that was not a pretty situation, nor did it end well for him.

Four days after he came home from Jinxx's and the day of their first rehearsals, he had gotten a text message from her right before he left saying that he was an asshole and lair. He didn't respond to it because he knew she was angry at him and responding to her would fuel any fire she had. Throughout the night he hadn't gotten any more texts from her making him more relaxed and able to focus on what he had to do. The day after that and the following days seemed to grow worse with her texts and words she was telling him, and with them getting worse it hurt him. It made Andy feel terrible. No matter how much he tried to reason with her, telling her that it was his choice when to tell her and that he knew it was probably the wrong idea for him to try to come out to her the way he planned, yet she didn't seem to care and kept texting him throughout the week until it got radio silent.

Up until the Wednesday Andy had gotten no texts from her which was a relief. He wanted to check up on her, yet he knew she was probably going the through the stages of grief in some way and didn't want to anger her more by texting her. However, it wasn't texts messages he was getting, it was a call at midnight on Wednesday that he never imagined he would get. And it was not the phone he wanted either.

Throughout the call, Andy listened to her talk and interjected only a few times. They didn't talk for long, since she cut him off by telling him she was coming over to get the few stuff she had at his apartment and that was when he knew it was bad, yet not to the point it would get. Andy thought she was coming over to her stuff since he was leaving for tour and that she wanted to get it before he left and they would talk more; however, that was not case.

Juliet came over the next morning, a day where they had a break from rehearsals and were going out to dinner that night to talk about somethings and hang out outside of their rehearsals; although that all changed for Andy. When Juliet came over, she came in his apartment completely ignoring his hello and anything he was saying until he asked why she was getting her items and that's when the hellfire began.

_"So..I know you're packing your stuff up...but why?" He asked her as he watched her pack up her clothes. He was standing awkwardly in his own room unsure how to ask her why she was getting her stuff. He was still hoping it was just because of them going on tour and he wouldn't be home to allow her to get her stuff, yet from the looks of it that didn't seem to be the case._

_There a low, groaning sigh from Juliet who paused mid-folding up a shirt and finished it before turning towards Andy and looking at him with a stern expression. "Because I'm leaving."_

_"Leaving where?"_

_"I'm leaving you, Andy. I'm breaking up with you." She calmly told him which felt like a bullet directly into Andy's heart. He felt himself stagger back towards the wall behind him and looked at her as if he heard her wrong. He had to have had heard her wrong. She wouldn't be breaking up with him._

_"Wai..wait, what? You're breaking up with me?" He asked her trying to keep his voice from cracking. "You can't be serious?"_

_Still packing up her stuff she shrugged. "I am serious. I'm breaking up with you."_

_"But why? I thought..I thought.."_

_"You thought what? That we would get passed this and everything would be okay." She said throwing her items into the box. "It's not going to be okay like that, and after thinking it over...I just realized how much more stuff about you could lied to me about."_

_The more she talked, the more he felt his heart break more and the will to cry grow stronger. He felt as of his life shatter, his hopes of being with her forever. She was his Dragonfly and he was her White Rabbit. They said they would be together forever and nothing would change that._

_Huffing and trying to keep in his emotions, he spoke up. "What's another reason then? There has to be more than one?"_

_"Andy, you broke my trust."_

_"I broke your trust?" He asked, trying not raise his voice. "You've broke my trust multiple times since we've started dated. Do you know how many times you've cheated on me? Or...or lied to me about something? Like that time about going to that party on Warped Tour when we first got together and was making out with the one merch guys and then telling me you just were there partying even though every time we've passed him he winked at you and pictures went around that whole week?"_

_Juliet looked at him with an annoyed expression and finished packing up. She still had to get her stuff from the bathroom. Standing up with the box she brushed him, bumping into him causing him to stagger and bump the door frame causing him turn back to look at her with a hurt expression._

_Sniffing loudly, he rubbed his face. He was totally going to cry, yet he couldn't do it in front of her. He couldn't. Following her he stood outside the bathroom watching her get her things or well trying to figure out what was hers. Andy had a lot of her products for himself. They worked well for him, better than a lot of products designed for men did even though he used them for years. Plus, the smell, even though it could be a bit too much, made him feel relaxed._

_"Oh my fucking God. Did you buy copies of my products? Wow. Wow. Wow!" She said, each word stabbing him in the chest. "So that must have been why my all my feminine products were always half gone when I came and stayed over. I wonder why they were being used."_

_Feeling tears begin to prick his eyes, Andy stood there and brushed them away. He couldn't believe this. She was really leaving him and doing as much damage as she could on the way out._

_"It's not like it matters if I use your products or not. It's not as if you my shit. You used majority of my stuff when you visit me on tour." He told he seeing her roll her eyes and just putting both bottles of the shampoo in the box. His eyebrows knitted together seeing her just put his stuff in with hers. She really wasn't caring anymore, but he was; although he wouldn't let his anger and sadness he was feeling get the best of him._

_"Because I can." She restored strenly, finishing getting her stuff and pushed past Andy once again and getting out of the bathroom._

_Flicking his lip ring he followed behind her. "Juliet, please, can we just talk about this? We can work this out and make this work. Nothing changes anything between us."_

_Snapping around to face him as she walked to the living room, she sneered. "Nothing changes? Nothing changes between us? Andy! Everything changes between us! Literally everything!"_

_"What changes? I'm still the same person..." He stopped himself and looked her as if he was seeing a flashback to high school before he dropped out. "This is because I don't have a dick, isn't it? This because I'm not "fully" a guy? Isn't?"_

_Getting no response beside an eyebrow glance, he asked her again, "It's because I'm not fully a guy? Isn't it?"_

_"It's fucking part of it. Andy, you completely hid this from me since we meet. You said nothing between us would left unsaid, you told me that you'd tell me everything; yet you didn't. How the fuck can I trust you? What other things have you been hiding from me. It's not like you had something with Ashley or Matt or anyone..." She trailed off seeing his sadden expression with a ton of emotions and expressions, yet the one she saw of him biting his lip and closing his eyes answered it for her._

_"You had...you have got to be kidding me Andy. You have completely got to be fucking kidding me!" She yelled at him setting the box down on the floor. "You had a relationship, friends with benefits with Ashley and Matt while we got together?"_

_Trying to find his words he stuttered out a string of words, "Well you see...you se..see Ashley and I had a relationship...it kind of began when I was with Scout and then when she and I brok-broke up it developed into a full relationship...it lasted for a few months before we realized it would be better as just friends..or well friends with benefits two years into me dating you. As for Matt...as for Matt we just occasionally made out and had a small thing a few times here and there."_

_"Jesus fucking Christ I can't believe you. So next to lying to me, breaking my trust, you've also went and had sex with your bandmate, co-owner of your band, and made out with your friend." She chuckled and looked at him. "I can't believe you. How fucking could you? Was I not enough? Did you even love me, or was friends with benefits with Ashley more? After all, you two have always been close. Did Scout know about it?"_

_"Scout knew about it." He whispered looking down feeling tears form in his eyes again._

_Looking at him stunned, Juliet pointed a finger at him and let out a laugh full of air. "I can't believe you. No wonder why she probably broke up with you. Such a fucking a slut. Both of you. I'm sure Ashley and Matt were only with you because of how you look."_

_Snapping his head, a pool of anger formed in his stomach amidst all the sadness. He couldn't believe she said that. Out of the all things she has said already, talking bad about Scout, Ashley, and Matt was not on the list and he wouldn't have it. "Don't you dare talk shit about them! Scout was completely wonderful to me and didn't give a fuck. She saw me as me and loved all of me, so did Ashley and Matt. Why can't you? Why can't you be more like Scout, your friend who you once hung out with, the friend who loved me to pieces and I haven't seen in years? Why can't you just see I'm still me. Nothing's changed about me Juliet. I'm still me...why can't you see that?"_

_By the end, he was crying. Tears were streaming down his face and he was trying to hide it as best he could. His body was shuddering as each sob and hiccup came through him. He couldn't help but cry. He promised himself he wouldn't cry in front of her, yet he was, becoming a cry mess in front of her._

_"Fucking pathetic Andy. Just pathetic." She said, picking up her box only to be stopped by Andy's hand grabbing his wrist and him giving her a pleading expression._

_"Please don't leave. Please don't. I don't...I don't know what I'd do if you do." He plead to her crying._

_She ripped her hand out of his grasp and caused him to look hurt. He had no reason to look hurt, she was the one who was hurt. She was the one who was lied too. Andy has no reason to be upset. Grabbing the box with her belongings in it, she began to walk towards the door of his apartment, put it down to grab her purse of the counter to thing look at him as she took her keys out of her purse._

_"Oh, also, you aren't thinking about telling anyone we've broken up?" She asked him_

_Blinking at the question, he looked at her with a questionable look. "Not right away, but I will at some point. People will be asking about why I'm not talking about you or you're not talking about me or why we aren't really together. Plus, I'll have to tell the guys."_

_"If you tell anyone, we've broken up, I swear to God I will ruin your career."_

_'What?" He gasped looking at her if she was out of her mind. What did she mean by that?_

_"You heard me, I will ruin your career if you tell anyone we aren't together anymore. I will tell everyone about you, who you are, your past relationships, how you lied to me. I'm sure when I tell the press that you had past relationships with Ashley and Matt, they won't like that one bit, and I'm sure the fans won't either. Oh, and they won't like the fact that you lied about who you are."_

_"But..but I've never lied! I'm me! I've always been me. Nothing has changed." He told her. "Plus, are you going to out me? That is completely illogical and wrong on so many levels. Outing someone is never okay. You're doing exactly what...are you blackmailing me? You're blackmailing me with this? For what?"_

_"Why wouldn't I? It's an easy game Andy, you tell anyone outside your little circle we've broken up, and I tell the world, your fans, your little army, about you. Everything I know. Even the things you've told me before."_

_Standing there looking at her as if she lost her mind, Andy couldn't believe this. Everything about today was horrible. Completely horrible. His world and love had crumbled and now this. This blackmail, this was a threat. She was going to try to end his entire life and career with this if she got the chance. This was like high school all over again, and it was not sitting right with him._

_Feeling something hit him, he glanced at her with his eyes full of tears again. He looked down at the floor and saw the extra he got made for her so she could come over to his apartment. It was a specially made key with a print image of a dragonfly in it. This really was happening. Juliet was really leaving him. For good._

_Watching her open the door with the box in her hands, he felt more tears come to his eyes as she stood there. Juliet glanced back at him once and gave an annoyed, disgusting look at him before grabbing the door handle of the door. "Goodbye, Biersack." She told him, her last vocal words to him as she shut the door, leaving an echo to fill his quiet apartment which was then filled the sounds of his sobs and wails. His relationship was over, and his Dragonfly...was gone forever._

Shivering at his memories of that night, he put on his sunglasses on and headed out of his bedroom with his last bag and into his living room where his neighbor, who watched his apartment when he out of town, was. She was a California native from Northern California and moved down to Los Angeles when she went to college for nursing. Them meeting was a strange encounter. The day Andy was moving into the building with the help of CC, Jake, Ashley, Matt, and his parents who flew out here, they had meet with her walking out from her apartment just two doors down. She had stopped before she had go out with a few friends from school to talk to them about moving in and introduce herself, and when she recognized his voice halfway through talking she stopped and stared at him wondering who he was. It wasn't until she heard CC speak up from inside the apartment that she recognized him and Andy and looked down at the shirt she was wearing and realized it was on their shirts from HotTopic.

The best part was when she realized that; she didn't freak out. She directly looked at Andy and told him straight up that if it wasn't for CC or him talking back to hm to answer his question, she would have never recognized them at all. And that he was extremely different in person. Andy couldn't really argue against that. None of them got easily recognized in public, there would be times when they would be recognized alone, yet they mainly got recognized when together in a whole group or just a few of them.

"So you got all the stuff you need packed for tour? You've been back there way to long."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry mom that I was back in my room for so long. Now we're going to be late for our family vacation to visit aunt Carol." He sassed back to her earning a fake glare causing him to roll his eyes. "You should be used to my sass by now Kelly. You should be used to a lot of things I say."

"I'll be used to it when you get good at it."

"I'm being attacked in my own apartment. Wow. Be lucky I love you." He said jokingly fist pumping her shoulder. "And let you stay here when you need to, and watch my apartment, and car. I'm also allowing you to drive it this time. I added you under my insurance for the time being."

Kelly smiled at him as she watched him go into his kitchen to grab on last thing. "So, I finally get to drive your car; and it's good to because my brother has to use mine."

"Why? Didn't he just a get a new car?"

"His car got rear ended when he was coming out Target's parking garage, and now he has to borrow my car from time to time or I can drive him everywhere while managing my schedule."

"Now I'm glad I'm allowing you to drive my car. Just don't crash it, Kelly." He told her walking from the kitchen with a bottle of water.

"I'm not going to crash, because if I do, your Batman signal will activate and next thing I know you'll be right there before the police." Kelly told him causing him laugh. "Do you have everything?"

"Yes. I've checked everyone three times. I've got all my stage clothes packed, extra clothes, everything else I need. I have my credit cards, my license, my passport, my insurance card- I got all that, mom." He told her seeing her give him a look before shaking her head. "If I do anything, I will let you know where we will be at a head of time and you can mail me something."

"I'm not mailing Crow. . You asked me to do that one time, and I didn't understand."

"I was missing my baby boy." Andy told her laughing. He remember doing that one time. He texted at five in the morning one time and in his tried, sleep deprived state he asked her if she could mail Crow to the next venue because he missed him so much that when he last did a Facetime with Kelly and saw Crow appear on the screen, he cried. "Now, help me carry my stuff outside. Jinxx should be here soon and I don't want to make him late. We've got to hit the place where the bus is at to pick us up. Plus, I don't want to be late. I'm not doing that again. We're were an hour late one time for bus call because of me. Surprisingly since I'm never late."

Helping him carrying his suitcases and bags out, she looked at him wondering if it was from that one story she told him. "Was it that one time you got extremely drunk for some reason or the other time of-"

"It was the other time." He shout back at her and made sure he had everything before closing his apartment door so Crow didn't get out. "I'm not doing that again. I don't need Ashley yelling at me, or CC, or Jinxx, or Jake. That wasn't a pleasant week."

Getting down to where Jinxx would pick him in the parking lot by the curb Andy stood there with Kelly as he smoked and talked to about what was going on. Apparently she was now entering her full med-student course for next year and would sadly have to deal with a classmate who she hates, and she hates a lot them. Andy would listen to her rant about them for hours, even when they watched a movie. He didn't mind at all, sometimes he would half listen, since he would be told this story again. It was honestly always nice to have Kelly around though, they could relate to many things and were always good talking to each other. Plus, she'd listen to him rant when he needed to. He considered Kelly the sister he never had, and he was thankful that.

Seeing a silver car pull up out of the corner of his eye, a smile broke out on his face as he realized who it was. "Jinxx!" Andy yelled seeing the guitarist pull up and park his car in a spot that he could just easily drive away from.

Getting out of his car, Jinxx went to Andy and hugged him before giving a hug to Kelly who hugged tighter than Andy did. He was her favorite member of the band after all.

"How are you doing Kelly?"

"Eh, pretty good. Just helping this loser with his luggage."

"Hey!" Andy gasped at her hearing a laugh from her and Jinxx. "Help me and Jinxx put my stuff in his car. We've got to get going."

"Okay, okay." Kelly said back and began help the two band mates load Andy's stuff into Jinxx's car. Once they had finished, the two talked to Kelly a bit more before getting into Jinxx's car. Andy went over everything with her again and gave her one last big hug. He would miss her, yet he knew he'd be getting texts and calls from her within the day, so it would be like he never left at all.

Now, Jinxx and him were driving to where the bus was. They had to be there early. They had to pick their bunks, get everything set up, and make sure they had everything too. It would be exhausting; however, it had to be done and it was all good since it was for tour.

"Thanks for picking me up Jinxx. I thought you wouldn't since it would be to much for you to go from your house to here and then to where we have to go since it's closer to your house."

"It's not a problem Andy. I don't mind, plus it's easier for you since you don't have to drive your car all that way either."

"That is true. Plus, Kelly has to use my car due to her brother crashing his car and he has to use her car. So, it works out either way."

"Her brother crashed his car? Didn't he just get one?"

"That's what she told me. I remember when he got it because he randomly texted me that his car was better than mine." He laughed. "I told him that's cool and we haven't talked since."

Jinxx laughed at that. Andy was sacrastic when he wanted to be, and he knew that he didn't really like Kelly's brother and he didn't like Andy. No one knew why, especially since the two never meet. None of them have really met Kelly's brother; and honestly they didn't know if they wanted to.

Taking a glance over to Andy, he noticed the boy looking a bit tense and shift in the seat. Andy had been a mess, a stressful mess these past weeks, and he only told them all a few things. No one knew for sure what was going on. It made them all concerned, especially Jinxx.

"You feeling alright? You've been stressed these last few weeks." He asked.

Looking over to him, he smiled, "Yeah, I'm fine Jinxx. Don't worry. It's just pre-tour jitters. I'm fine. Thanks for asking though."

"You sure? It has nothing to do with-"

"No." He cut off Jinxx quickly. "No. No. Not at all. No. Just pre-tour jitters, I'm fine Jinxx and ready for this tour."

"Alright." He said nodding as he turned on some music. He was going to take Andy's word for it. After all, pre-tour jitters always happened and he knew once they officially began it; everything would be fine. Everything would be fine indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

Andy sucked in a large breath. He was trying to breath but couldn't. No air was getting to his lungs and he felt tiny. He was clawing at his skin and hunched over. He felt trapped within himself and a bubble. A bubble with no oxygen, making it harder to breath and his thoughts weren't helping him either. They were only making it worse.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't go out there. People would notice. Everyone would see him. They would know his secret and see right through him. She probably told everyone already, tweeted about, told media outlets, told the people from his past--everyone she probably told! They all knew. The fans, the crew, CC, and Jake, just everyone out there knew. He couldn't go out there and face them. He'd be called a loser, a fag, tranny, and butch all over again. It would be like high school, but ten times worse. The fans would call him every word they could throw at him, boo him off stage, throw things up at him and them, probably riot! It would be like that time he was walking to his car after school and was thrown on the ground. He'd fear that would happen to him or the guys. He wouldn't be able to deal with them getting the hate and the backlash meant for him. He would feel terrible, so terrible he'd might as well...he might as well..

Shaking his head and trying suck in a breath that only got caught in his throat he leaned down and tried to breath only for his entire body to shake. His fingers ran through his short hair and his one hand clawed at his skin. He was sure he'd scratch himself; yet if it that was a way he could get some feeling in his body, then that's all he could do. He wouldn't hurt himself. Andy usually never did during his panic attacks, yet there had been times where he had and none of them had been intended. Andy hated himself for it; however, no matter how many times he tried to control it -- he couldn't.

He'd break a mirror to get something sharp, scratch and claw at his skin until it broke and bleed, hit himself against objects; pull all nighters afterwards; hell - he'd tried to anything. His mind and body didn't care, well his body did, yet his mind didn't. Andy's mind couldn't care less when it was that state. If he hurt himself, his normal state of mind could deal with it afterwards. That's what he learned after the first few times its happened.

Blue eyes snapping up to the mirror in front of him, Andy could see how much of a mess he was. His eyes were bloodshot, they wavered, he had sweat going down his face, and he was all hunched over. Letting out a low shaky breath his head lowered again and he tried to get his breathing under control. His lungs still were having a hard time and he just felt as if this wouldn't end; yet he needed it to. He needed this to be over.

"Andy, are you ready?" A knock on the door came. "Andy, we go on in forty. You've been in there for a while."

Glancing over to door hoping the person would leave, he saw the door handle jiggle, meaning they were attempting to opening it. He didn't want anyone to come in. Not even Jon, crew, CC, Jake, Ashley, or Jinxx. He didn't want any of them to come in. Any of them seeing him in this state would either ask him if he wanted to cancel the show or delay it, or ask him what was wrong. Either way, he wouldn't answer. Andy didn't want to tell them what was wrong or his thoughts. They wouldn't understand it.

Still not responding he heard another knock again. "Andy, are you in there? Please answer me?"

Staring at the door still, he didn't respond once again. A groan came from the other side and he heard some noise of the same voice talking to themselves. Whoever was outside the door was very determined to open it and get inside here to see him. He just didn't want them too though.

Continuing to stare at it, he heard the sound of something against the door and the handle beginning to wiggle. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!_ The person was extremely determined to get in and as the door handle jiggled and the sound of the lock being forced open he knew they would get in. They would get in and see him; and if it was Ashley...he was doomed.

Fearing what he though, the click of the lock being opened reached his ears and he felt his fear reach an all time once again. A gruff was heard and the door was slowly opened and the person he excepted was there and Andy didn't want him to be. He didn't need him to see him like this. Again.

"Andy, what are you doing we have to be ready in forty minutes and you're not......Andy." Ashley's voice came off strong then decreased on he saw the singer leaning against the counter, shaking and trying to catch his breath. He was having a panic or anxiety attack, and when that happened, Ashley knew Andy could either come back to normal in no time or stay like this for hours. However, that couldn't happen tonight.

"You need to be in the dressing room to get ready. We go on in forty."

"I can't...As..Ash...I can't..I can-" he took a sharp breath cutting himself off and shuddered. His words were barely coming out and his breathing wasn't any better. His throat felt constricted and his lungs were on fire from how hard he was breathing and how he couldn't get in any air to even breath. If this continued he could ruin his voice for the night from this or have to delay the show. Delaying the show was not an option at all.

"Yes you can. Come on. Breath with me. Just breathe with me, listen to my voice and follow me." Nodding to what Ashley said Andy tried to get his breathing to match with him and when it did, he slowly began to able to breath normally and felt himself come back to a normal state. His body and mind felt weird and he swore if Ashley didn't have his hands on shoulders, his knees would buckle and he would instantly hit the floor.

Leaning his head against Ashley's shoulder he breathed slowly and sniffed, feeling himself back to normal and level headed. Or level headed as best as he could be. Ashley's hand traced circles around his back and he relaxed. Ashley always knew what to do when he was in states like this. When he first had a severe anxiety attack in front of Ashley when he first went over to Ashley's house, the completely helped him through it. He didn't know how he did, yet he did, and since then Ashley has always been able to help him with it and anything really. He was thankful for that.

"You feeling alright now, blue eyes?"

Andy nodded.

"Good. Are you ready to go back to the dressing room and get ready? We have about thirty minutes now before we have to be where we need to be."

Seeing Andy nod, Ashley carefully led Andy out of the bathroom and down the hallway with his hand around his back. He could tell the boy was still a bit shaken up. He didn't know what caused Andy to have this. Ashley had noticed a shift of change in the singer since they began the second week of rehearsals. However, he wouldn't tell them much at all, beside the fact he had broken up with Juliet and none of them could tell anyone. No one knew why, plus it's not like they would tell anyway. They weren't going to go around and tell people, "Hey, Andy and Juliet broke up! Everyone come look!" They weren't going to do that, especially Ashley. If he ever did that too Andy, he would give the boy full approval to either end their friendship and partnership with the band or yell at him for as long as he wanted. He'd even allow Andy to kick or hit him as much as he wanted to; yet he knew Andy would never do that.

When they got closer to the dressing room Ashley watched Andy hustle to get into the room and he slowly walked into the dressing room to see him over where his stuff was and trying to relax once again. Running a hand through his hair, he walked over to were his bass was and saw Jinxx standing there with a worry expression on his face as he looked over at Andy.

"Is he alright? At sound check, he was completely fine." Jinxx asked Ashley who now stood next to him as they watched the singer quickly chug a bottle of water and lean against the counter of the dressing room.

"Anxiety attack. I don't know what caused it, but something is. Did he ever you tell more about what happened between him and..." Leaning into Jinxx he whispered, "her?"

Shaking his head he moved his hair back. "Not more than he told you, or any of us. He told me that they just broke up and nothing more. I got concerned about it when he told and when I asked for more, he changed the subject faster than I've seen him run, and he can run pretty fast." 

Turning their attention towards Andy they watched as he was getting himself ready and presentable. His hair was styled upwards, he no longer looked as if he just had panic or anxiety attack, a little bit of warpaint was on his face, and his inner ear pieces were in. He looked completely ready to go on the stage. He always did.

That was something that always amazed Jinxx, beside Andy's incredible talent. Whenever Andy was a mess before or after a show, he somehow always made himself completely presentable and perfect as if nothing was wrong. Jinxx remembered one time when he was completely messed up and exhausted to the point where they all thought he was going to just fall to the floor and pass out; after he chugged a bottle of water and gatorade and ate something small he was completely fine and getting to go meet fans. It was amazing how he just bounced back from a state of complete and utter collapse or breakdown to being fully awake and normal as if nothing ever was going to happen.

"Jinxx," Andy's voice snapped him out and he glanced his blue eyes over to the singer who was looking at him from across the room. "Can you come help me with making sure my inner ears and the clip is in place?"

"Sure." He shuttered out causing Ashley to snicker next to him, earning an elbow bump as he walked over to Andy who stood there and let Jinxx helped him. He made sure the clip that connected to the inner ear piece was in place on Andy's pants. It was kind of hard since the boy wore so many belts, something they all did, but with Andy he tended to stack them up. After that he carefully made sure the inner ear buds were in place and wouldn't fall out. Placing it in Andy's ear, he saw the boy smile at him and he smiled back.

"Thanks Jinxx. I don't think I would be able to do that by myself without messing it up or getting them tangled. Like I did that one time."

Laughing at that, Jinxx smiled at him and saw him look in the mirror and take a drink of water as he looked his appearance. "You're welcome, Andy. Hopefully, they won't get tangled this time."

"They won't. If they do by intermission, I'll fix them then." He laughed and put down the bottle of water and stretched. "How much time do we have until we go on, or until call is?"

"Twenty minutes." CC said from behind him. "We either better finishing getting ready and get going to at least side stage and in the places we go on from."

Looking back at each other; Jinxx and Andy smiled at each other and went back to doing what they were doing. Jinxx went back to his guitar where Jake and Ashley sat going over their parts, and Andy stood there with CC as he finished getting ready.

When Jinxx got over to his guitar he saw Ashley smirk at him and he shot him a small glare. He didn't understand why Ashley kept shooting him smirks and even making small snickers towards him. Ever since they've got on the bus, he had been doing it. Hopefully tonight he wouldn't do that.

Opening the pack of cigarettes Andy took on out between his teeth and messily grabbed his lighter and lit the stick. When he took a large breath in and felt the nicotine fill up his lung and relax him. The show had gone great, he don't know why he freaked out so much over people noticing; because no one did. No one noticed. No one saw through him. Plus, the rush of being on stage made him forget about it too. Which was a good thing for him. It left him his head clear and to be able to perform throughout the night. At least he didn't drink this time, usually drinking cleared his head, but thankfully he didn't need to this time.

Blowing out a cloud of smoke he leaned his head against the brick wall behind him and stared at the wall across from him. It was warm outside since they were in one of the states that had warm tempturers still for it being beginning of the year and winter.

Hearing the sound of the door open he looked up and saw Jinxx standing there before closing the door, but not making sure it closed away, and took a seat next to Andy. His blue eyes gazed down at the burning cigarette between his two fingers. He wondered what number that was. He hadn't seen the boy smoke all day, and he didn't know how long he'd been out here. He couldn't have been out here too long.

"How many have you had today?"

Andy turned his head towards him and raised him an eyebrow to his question. _What does he mean by that?_ "What?"

"How many have you had today?" Jinxx asked again this time pointing at the burning cigarette Andy was holding. "How many cigarettes have you had today? You usually smoke throughout the day."

_Oh._ "Three."

"Of?"

"The first pack." Andy said, not wincing when he felt the small embers burning the skin on his knee. The pain never bothered him at all. After all, he's burned himself enough from fire by doing stupid shit. "I didn't smoke at all this morning. I've slept in and just wasn't feeling it at all."

"Give me one."

"But you don't smoke anymore." He told Jinxx who had his hand held out wanting the pack.

"Just give me one."

Handing over the pack and lighter, the other blue eyed male took out one and placed it between his lips and handed the pack back to Andy as he lit it up. It made him cough at first since he hadn't smoked in so long, yet once he took a few more drags he was fine. Andy always smoked Marlboro Reds or Lights, he was the only in band who did smoke, smoke Marlboro. It didn't mind any of them, yet since Jinxx used to smoke another brand and CC smoked Menthol's, it was always hard when they shared cigarettes. Sometimes when Andy ran out he'd steal from CC and end of smoking only two of the five he stool and give the three back to CC. Jinxx remembered one time Andy tried smoking Menthols and ended up somehow sick from it. Although it was a hilarious moment, it made them realize that Andy couldn't really smoke other brands, sometimes like he couldn't always hold his alcohol either.

Sitting there next only half through his cig, he realized Andy was now on his fourth one and huddled up with his hands up against his face and knees too. He looked cold, but who could blame him with wearing a ripped shirt and jeans. Even though they were in a state that was still warm for being mid-January, the coldness of winter was still in effect for the area they were in. Inching closer to Andy to share his body warmth, he felt the singer flinch before relaxing to their bodies touching.

"Are you okay? You haven't done that in a long time."

"I just...I had a panic attack. Or anxiety attack." He said taking a long breath in of a nicotine and blew it out after holding it in. "I think it's from,"

"From?"

Andy shook his head, "Nothing. It's nothing."

Being told that only made Jinxx worried. He knew something was going with Andy, and he only had a few feelings what it could be. From all the years he's known Andy, he knew he was still young and fragile, and he seemed to have gone through so much in his 23 years of life; yet he's innoceances was still kept through it all. Even when he was in his darkest days and in the worst state of his own mind, he still kept his innocence.

Flicking away the ashes, he looked over at Andy, "The show tonight went great."

"It did." Andy took in a long drag. "It's been going good this whole week. Beside whatever anxiety attack I had before. I still...I don't know what brought that on. You're violin parts have been great too. It's all been great."

"It has been. Though, we wouldn't be able to do it without you singing up there on stage." Jinxx chuckled.

"Nah, I'm sure you would be able. Just play the instrumentals. People will fan over those. I do when I always hear them without my vocals."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I listen to the tracks on my laptop at home with just the instrumentals or vocals. It's really interesting to hear." Andy said flicking some ashes.

"The instrumentals are good too, and so are you vocals. Sometimes when I hear them on stage I'm always amazed at how well you sing."

"So am I."

A small laugh was exchanged between them before silenced fell over them and they both sat there letting their cigarettes burn or smoke it. Jinxx just decided to let his burn away. He didn't really care. It's not like he was going to really smoke it anyway.

"Do you still want to talk about what happened or no?" Jinxx asked glancing his blue eyes over to Andy who gave a sigh and let out the smoke.

"I just..I don't know. I don't know if it is stress or...or something else. I don't know. It could have also been my anxiety attacking up and just my mind telling me stupid shit it always does. I sometimes never know are this point."

"Whatever it was, just know that you have us to talk to and we're always here for you and to listen to you." Jinxx stated placing a hand on Andy's back. "We're all band mates and brothers. Sure, we don't always want to tell each other our problems, but we can and we're all here you and each other. So, never hesitate to speak to us."

A smile appeared on Andy's face after Jinxx told him that. He was right after all, he could always tell them, yet he didn't know if they would understand or get too worried about them because of this. Plus, he didn't need to put the stress on them about it. It was his issue he had to deal with, and an issue he would get through. He wouldn't drag them down with him, even though they could be.

Relaxing and leaning softly on Jinxx due how comfortable his hand rested on his back was and how close they were, Andy rested his head on shoulder and gazed his blue eyes up at his and asked him, "Are we on the bus or at a hotel tonight?"

"We're on the bus again tonight and then tomorrow night we're staying in a hotel before hitting the road early in the morning before hitting the next venue. We'll be able to finally sleep in normal beds for once." Jinxx said. "Because honestly being on that tour bus for nearly a week now is getting on everybody."

Humming at that Andy leaned more into Jinxx and took one last drag of his cigarette before noticing it at its end, stubbed it out on his boot, and then threw the bud away from them landing somewhere on the ground. Jinxx did the same and he watched as Andy slipped his pack and lighter into his pants pocket. He was still surprised Andy came out here with no jacket on. His guess was after the show, he just got what he needed and came out here no caring about putting on a jacket.

Looking over at the singer he noticed him cuddling more into his side for warmth. He could feel him starting to shiver and that meant the cold was getting to him. Andy was surprisingly a cold person, even though he was always warm. Jinxx has seen the boy wear layers once when they were at their first Warped Tour in blistering heat with broken ribs. It surprised them all really to see him wearing a long sleeved shirt and sweatpants; and he's done it every time if they were touring during a time where the heat was starting to show though.

Jinxx could remember one time they all hung out; Andy came over to CC's wearing skin tight jeans and a hoodie in blazing heat. It all made them concerned because it was way to hot and Andy looked like he was about to overheat. It made them all concerned, but thankfully Andy didn't overheat and they were fine. Yet now Jinxx was worrying about Andy getting hypothermia and sick; and he knew that they didn't need a sick Andy and Andy didn't need to be sick. Sick Andy wasn't bad, but he became a complete, utter zombie of himself and being sick on tour was not fun. They all knew that first hand.

"Are you ready to go back in to get ready to go back on the bus? It's getting cold out here and you need to put on something other than a ripped shirt."

Hearing a hum come from Andy indicating a yes, Jinxx stood up helping Andy up and the two walked back into the venue to make sure everything was packed up both in equipment and their own items before heading back onto the bus for another long night. Even though they could all wait another day to be sleeping in a nice bed at a hotel, the urge to sleep in one was growing on all them and that's what they needed tonight. Especially Andy after what happened today. A nice night of sleep would be wonderful and refreshing.

He couldn't sleep at all. They had been on the bus for about four hours and he just couldn't fall asleep. Andy was curled up in his bunk as best as his tall frame would let him. Barely anyone was awake. There was a small light coming from Jake's, Jinxx's, a few of their crew members bunks, and that was it. Ashley and CC's bunks were in the back, and who knows if they were up.

Uncurling and rolling onto his back so he laid facing upwards towards the ceiling the frown was still kept on his face. He felt relaxed and ready to shut his eyes and get sleep; yet he couldn't. Frowning and knitting his eyebrows together he grabbed his shirt he took off and threw it on in before getting out of his bunk and heading towards the small kitchen making sure not to wake anyone up. He seriously couldn't sleep and all he was craving right now was food and something to drink, mainly something to drink with alcohol in it. Then he could sleep. He was sure there was some wine or Seagrams 7, if not he could steal some of Ashley's alcohol. The bassist wouldn't mind, well, he would, but Andy could just pay him back.

Rubbing his face he went out to the kitchen and turned on the small light that was underneath the cabinet, he didn't need to turn on a ton of lights and wake up who ever could see them. Yawning Andy went over to the cabinet where some of the alcohol was at and searched through it. He realized when they were bringing stuff on the bus from what they bought food and drink wise, none of them got Seagrams 7. Rolling his eyes he pulled out a bottle of wine, and began to open it. Not giving a shit, he put the bottle up to his lips and took a large drink of it feeling the tangy taste of the white wine touch his taste buds and slide down his throat. While didn't have as much alcohol in it as as whiskey or beer, it still was able to get him drunk if he drank a lot of it and planning on drinking this entire bottle was now on the list for the night.

Taking the bottle and a red solo cup he went over to the couch and sat down with it, taking out his phone and opening YouTube to watch some videos. Getting into a comfortable position he poured some wine into the solo cup before capping it off and placing it on the ground next to him so he didn't knock it off the couch. Finding a video to watch he pressed it and took a sip of the wine while watching the video. This would turn out to be a good night, he could get drunk and finally peaceful sleep; and maybe sleeping drunk would be good for him. After all, it would be better than going to bed sober. Andy had enough of that. Enough of the thoughts that followed, the dreams, him staying away for hours. Sober sleeping would end tonight, being sober all together would end. Maybe being drunk on this tour wouldn't be so bad.


End file.
